diumenge, de maig 21, 2006

Lligar a la discoteca

Ves per on, avui m'ha sortit de la figa parlar i tractar el tema de la discoteca, en especial, l'acte famos de lligar. Jo, Arkaitz he tingut el gran plaer i alhora fostigament d'haver anat a algunes discotecas, on el percentatge de retardats mentals està molt elevat i supera la mitja de cualsevol aula de la ESO. Sense perdre el fil de la questió, lo millor d'aquests ambients és quan arribes, molts cotxes aparcats, també hi ha la zona de motos corresponent, on et trobes tots els especimens menors d'edat amb els seus ciclomotors trucats, tunnejats i llegint literatura classica de grans autors com; Homer, Virgili i Seneca...tot seguit et disposes a entrar a la segona fase, per mi una de les millors, els porters, siiiiiiiiii ooohhhh que grans que son, quin estil, quins tatuatges, sempre me imaginat que hi ha dins els seus caps- imaginava un desert, on bufa una suau brisa i un matoll passa rodolant lliscant per la sorra-, quan passes aquesta barrera intel.lectual entres dins el fantastic món; la discoteca.


Que gran és, acostumes a veure diferents ambients-depen de la discoteca en questio-un lloc on posen musica "salsa"actualment reggaton, i un altra on posen una mica de maquineta i temes actuals de pop acabant amb una pinzellada de house per acabar vomitant tot el sopar, a les barres trobes prostitutes, que actuen com elles pero sense saber.ho, també hi han nois amb un bon cos musculat, depilat i foradat que ballen com autentics idiotes la musica que inunda l'ambient, fent moviments provocatius,- no en el sentit d'atraure les noies sino en el sentit de que donen ganes de fotre.li una pallissa, i un cop has acabat defecar sobre la seva cara un bon cagarro.-Pero ara ve el millor moment, la gent que abunda en aquests llocs, hi ha de tot, algun perdut que no sap on s'ha ficat, algun subnormal com jo que i va perque no té més remei i els xulus, aquells que sempre et segueixen amb la mirada, per veure si els i dius alguna cosa, pero com que peses 40 kilos i medeixes 1.80 i no tens ganes de tornar en una urna passes d'ells.


El factor clau de la discoteca es l'acte de lligar, lligar? jo he vist casos de lligar, que més aviat semblen propis d'un prostibul, quants cops no heu preguntat a un amic; ei com es deia la tia aquella que et vas liar? resposta; -no m'en recordo-, si, no se'n recorda, li va fer una neteja vocal i dental i no se'n recorda del seu nom, la pregunta és, li va preguntar?sempre ens quedara aquest dubte, pero el que està segur és que despres van anar al cotxe d'algun amic i li va netejar els baixos, de gratis, potser la va invitar a alguna ralla o cualsevol droga, com els nens petits els i dones un caramel i es porten bé, doncs a la fauna que frequenta aquests ambients igual. On ha quedat aquell art de conquerir el cor d'aquella jove bruna? a desaperegut, jo el proxim dia que vagi a la discoteca, a la pista de ball, em baixare els pantalons a veure quantes noies salten a amorrar.se al meu mebre viril, xq presentacions? tu vols xupar.la? doncs no perdem temps, em menges la cigala i llestos. I semblara exagerat el que explicat, doncs és la pura realitat, la veritat esta alla fora, fins aviat estimats lectors.

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